


Cracking Masks

by Blowing_minds



Category: Free!
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Fluff, Gen, Minor Character Death, Oops, but im really lazy so it's only 3+1 things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-21
Updated: 2017-07-21
Packaged: 2018-12-04 17:57:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11560413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blowing_minds/pseuds/Blowing_minds
Summary: Nanase Haruka has spent his entire life constructing the perfect mask of indifference. In his mind, emotions were pointless and messy.And yet, Haruka is only human. He was bound to crack eventually.ORThree times Haru hid his feelings from his friends, and the one time it all became too much.





	Cracking Masks

**Author's Note:**

> This will probably end up super cringy. I apologize in advance. I'll try my best not to write any OOC but no promises.
> 
> This is mostly canon compliant until the end, but I've changed the dialogue a bit.

**1.** Embarrassment

Haru had figured that Gou's "Training Camp From Hell" would be filled with tons of swimming, complaining, strained muscles and regret. Instead, he got an almost drowning, a scary abandoned mansion and the crazy board game Nagisa had thought up to pass the time. It wasn't terribly original, but the others seemed to be enjoying it.  

 _No, this wasn't what I was expecting at all,_ Haru thought as he watched his friends laugh at Rei's story. The blue haired boy was hiding his face in his hands, but Haru could see the faint blush on his neck as Nagisa tried in vain to comfort him. He felt a smile -- so small it was barely more than the slightest upturn of his lips -- creep up.  _Even with all the crap that's happened, this trip wasn't a total fail._

"It's your turn, Haru-chan!" Nagisa's bright voice interrupted Haru's thoughts and his smile disappeared. 

Haru turned and blinked, waiting.

"'Give us the details of a personal romantic encounter,'" Nagisa recited.

"Romantic encounter?!" Both Makoto and Rei -- who seemed over his initial mortification -- exclaimed. 

Haru stood up with a sigh. "Whatever."

He ignored Rei's question of "does Haru even know what romantic means?" and Makoto's reply of "your guess is as good as mine," in favor of searching his memory.  _Romantic encounter. Romantic encounter._ There was one thought that surfaced, niggling at his conscious, but Haru shoved it down. No way he could tell them  _that._

 _Shit,_ he thought, desperately fighting a blush. How was he supposed to tell them that he'd never been intimate a day in his life? Thinking fast, Haru quickly crafted a story based on a true event.

So, taking a deep breath, he told the tale of a waterfall he found while hiking with his parents. He purposefully made it sound like he was seeing a gorgeous woman instead of crystal water. Of course, the waterfall had been beautiful; he still hiked up there every year, just to see it, but he knew his friends didn't want to hear that. 

When they finally caught onto his ruse, his friends all gave a fond, exasperated sigh. "Haru, if you're talking about a waterfall, it doesn't count," Nagisa said.

As they turned away, Haru kept his eyes closed and fought to control the color rising to his cheeks. _It was better this way_ , he knew, _that they think I've never had a romantic encounter._ It was far better than telling them that there had been an  _actual_ woman bathing in the waterfall. And when he had seen her, he had frozen and was unfortunately spotted. Long story short, the amount of screaming she had done had scared him off of any romantic encounters.

Haru still cringed thinking about it. 

Taking a breath, he peeked his eyes open and saw the Nagisa's name cube land on Makoto.  _Good, the attention isn't on me._ Haru slid back down into his seat without notice, still fighting his embarrassment. 

As Makoto stood to tell his story, Haru allowed himself to relax.  _This trip really is full of surprises._

 

 

 

 **2.** Happiness

Haru was lost.

When Rin had said those awful words everything just... stopped. It was like time froze as he stared into Rin's eyes.

_This victory means I never have to swim with you again. Ever._

_But I want to swim with you,_ he almost said, but didn't. There was no point. Rin hated him, and nothing was ever going to change that, no matter how much Haru wished otherwise.

When Rin left, Haru forced himself out of the pool, muscles screaming protest. He didn't care. He just wanted to get out of there, before his friends came to find him. Haru wouldn't be able to stand the look of disappointment on their faces. 

But where to go?

He ends up in the showers, eyes unfocused, mind racing with thoughts.

_I never have to swim with you again. Ever._

Squeezing his eyes shut, Haru just wants it all to  _stop._

 

*|{}|*

 

_"Where are you? We've been looking everywhere!"_

_"Please, hurry home or get in touch. We're all worried sick!"_

_"Okay, I know you'll be kind of mad, but I signed you up for the medley relay tomorrow and we really need you!"_

_"Please come out, if we can pull this off we have a chance to go to regionals!"_

_"And don't worry about me! I'll be fine as long as I memorize the theory by tomorrow, I won't let you down!"_

_"Rei, that's a sure sign that you're gonna tank!"_

_They're all... so excited,_ Haru thought, staring at his phone.  _They really want to do this. They really want to race tomorrow._

"Haru...?" Makoto asked groggily.

Haru stared at him, remembering his earlier words.  _I want to swim with you, Haru._

"We've got a relay. Let's prep."

 

*|{}|*

 

Haru honestly hadn't been expecting for Iwatobi to finish first. Everything had been rushed. No one had thought to prepare for a relay.

And yet here they were.

"Haru! You were awesome," Makoto said, his green eyes alight.

"Congratulations!" cheered Nagisa.

"That was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life," sniffled Rei.

And, just like that, time unfroze. 

As Makoto pulled him from the water, laughing, Rei and Nagisa excitedly describing how fast their hearts were beating, Haru was hit by a wave of emotion. Looking around, he saw smiling. And laughing. His friends were happy.

 _I'm happy,_ he thought distantly.

Ever since the whole thing with Rin blew up, Haru had found his happiness taking a back seat. Swimming hadn't brought him joy anymore; just a sense of calm. But here, now, surrounded by his friends...

A small smile, barely there, graced his lips, before he caught himself. Smoothing his face over, he pretended like he hadn't just been brought to life.

And time continued to move forward.

 

 

 

 **3.** Anger

Nagisa, Rei, and Makoto had been weird all night. 

Honestly, it wasn't that hard for Haru to discern something was wrong. He wasn't a master at reading body language, but with every random exclamation from Nagisa to "stay put!" along with the way Rei seemed to mysteriously disappear, Haru's suspicion grew. It didn't help that Makoto was in on whatever was going on. But Haru bit his tongue; his grandma always told him patience is a virtue, and he was content to observe.

For now, anyway.

So he let Nagisa and Makoto lead him around. He turned a blind eye to Nagisa's constant texting. He gave no protest when they suggested they go across the fair for no reason.

But, eventually, his impatience and curiosity won.

"What are you doing?" Haru asked Nagisa, who was crouching on the ground and... talking to himself? The blond shot to his feet with a squeak, hiding his phone behind his back. "You've been acting weird all night." 

"Guess I should come clean, huh," he murmured bashfully, rubbing the back of his head. 

"Yes," Haru agreed.

 _Nagisa isn't the best story teller_ , Haru absently noted towards the end of the story.  _He's far too hyperactive, which always leads to him skipping over some parts._ But despite the skipped bits, Haru got the gist of it.

"... and then Rei lost sight of him," Nagisa finished, fidgeting.

"So Rin is here?" Haru clarified.

When Nagisa nodded yes, he closed his eyes with a sigh, squashing the anger that tried to rise up.  _They had no right,_ his traitorous thoughts whispered,  _to keep this from you. They should have told you._

 

 _They tried to do what was right. They didn't want me hurt. They could have handled the situation better, yes, but I appreciate that they tried to protect me,_ Haru thought back.

The anger didn't dissipate.  _They only care about the relay. They thought seeing Rin would put you under enough stress to quit. They didn't try to protect you, they only care about the damn race._

_Shut up._

"I'm not mad," he lied to Nagisa when his eyes opened.

 

 **+1** Sadness

The sky was grey when they arrived.

"Are you sure this is a good idea, Makoto-senpai?" Nagisa's timid voice asks, staring at Haru's door like it might come alive and eat him.

Makoto solemnly sighed, nodding. "Haru's going to need all the support he can get."

"Well, if you're sure," Rei murmured back, pushing up his glasses. He wasn't as confident Makoto, but said nothing.  _He knows Haruka-senpai far better than I, anyway._

The three boys stared at the door for a few more seconds, before Makoto gathered up his courage and pushed it open. The house was dark and silent. Lifeless. Quietly, the boys made their way through the kitchen, living room and up the stairs, taking care to not to be too loud.  

Rei stopped at one of the doors, peeking inside, he gave a huff of breath. "He's not in his room," he whispered.

"Then where is he?" Nagisa asked.

"If he's not in his room, then he's most likely in there." Makoto pointed to the end of the hallway, where a lone door stood.

"Who's room is that?"

"It was his grandmother's, Nagisa."

Both Rei and Nagisa sucked in a breath, exchanging looks. "This is bad," said Rei.

"Yeah," replied Nagisa.

Slowly, the boys inched the door open. The interior was as dark as the rest of the house, and didn't seem like anything special, save for the giant antique wardrobe in the corner. 

Nagisa and Rei looked up when Makoto jabbed their shoulders. Catching their gaze, he flicked his eyes towards the bed, where a distinct lump was swamped in the covers.

_Haru._

The younger boys watch as Makoto makes his way to the bed, gently shaking Haru. Nothing happens. Sighing softly, Makoto carefully peels the blanket away, until everyone can see Haru's blank face.

"Haru," he said gently.

"Go away," he replied, turning over.

The brunet laid a hand on Haru's back instead. "Haru-chan, look at me, please."

Haru gives no reply.

"I know you miss your obaachan," he whispered, ignoring the way Haru stiffens. "I miss her too."

The dam began to fill.

"I know this is hard for you. And I don't want to push you. But staying hold up at home isn't healthy."

The waters rose.

"Leave me alone, Makoto."

"You don't have to do this alone, Haru. You have friends now. You have people who support, who will help. Who  _want_ to help you."

The waters passed halfway.

Haru turned over, meeting Makoto's sad eyes. 

"It's okay to be sad, Haru. It's okay to cry."

The dam broke.

Tears slid down his pale cheeks, one after the other. Rei was both fascinated and horrified to realize that Haru looked beautiful crying.

Makoto gathered Haru in his arms, letting him cry on his shoulder. After a moment's hesitation, Nagisa joined in the hug, followed by Rei.

"I want to help you, Haru," Nagisa said.

"Me too," Rei agreed.

Makoto nodded as well, but it all seemed lost on Haru, who continued to cry.

And outside, the sky began to cry too.

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
